Jack Niper – Part 1

He was looking at the revolver on his oak wood desk. He picked it up like the old slow music playing from his gramophone, the other hand held his glass of whiskey. He was observing the intricate make of the magnum. It pleased him, and it was not just about its shiny black machinery, but something in it gave him a strange power. He seemed thirsty for the sheer capacity – the capacity to make a choice – a choice to end choosing – the idea that he could execute himself. Calmly he gulped the remaining spirit, rested the glass, and reached for the drawer of his desk for bullets. Carefully he picked one, and casually slipped it into the revolver.

While changing it in his hands he was observing the contoured reflections on its surface. He closed his eyes, and contemplated the plausibility. It was simple, yet profoundly consequent – none of which, he would see to face, it thrilled him – to know death was just a trigger away, the power in it was in making that choice. He doubted if he would do it, someone inside of him was yelling to him, ‘do it’, the other argued, ‘you know you wouldn’t dare’. Unconsciously the gun moved into position aiming his temple, his finger on the trigger, slowly beginning to cast pressure. One face of him inside was smirking at his apathetic other. He was imagining firing the bullet, the sound he would hear, the instance of the warm bullet cracking into his skull, and before he knew fear or pain, it would have all ended. It suddenly felt it was too fast – the emotions were lost. What interested him was the adrenaline rush in teasing death, in roaring at it. He wanted to know death, and yet not surrender to it. A gun was a tasteless choice, he thought.

Slowly he opened his eyes, relaxed the trigger, placed the gun back in the desk and just as he began to get hold of his glass, he heard his wife opening the screechy door of his room, the music was still playing. She seemed puzzled at the look on his face. She walked towards his desk, and leaned on it next to his sitting.

“Whats wrong Jack? why so serious?”, she said looking at him.

“Nothing Jeannie, just the usual”, he said in indifference.

“Now lets put a smile on that face darl… I have something to tell you…”, she said while easing the palm holding the glass, lifted it and held it over her neck in warmth. Gently felt it over her cheeks and kissed it.

“What is it Jeannie?”, he said. His aloof eyes gaining her attention.

“We are going to have a baby Jack… I m pregnant.” she announced smiling.

Jack Niper – Part 2

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